WAIT ..WHAT JUST HAPPENED?

Wait....Wait!Unlike my other blogs I am basically writing in a state of shock. Usually when I get off of the graveyard shift I drive to unwind just to gain a little sanity before coming home to a house full of little ones (total of 6 ranging from 15 to 10 months if that old). Why my baby sisters think I agree to watch the children is beyond me. I've been trying to figure this out for years. (Chuckling).

Anyway, I am driving, going over the day at work-actually beginning to release it. Then I reflect. Now usually I would tell you that I am talking/reflecting/spending time with my Father. But something happened during my reflective moment and I can't figure it out. I parked the mini van at a waterfall, turned off the ignition and that's when it began. I couldn't get out. No no no, nothing to do with weight. But it had everything to do with my bones. I ached. Slowly (glad no one was around) I got out. I heard the strangest sounds coming from my body. My bones were popping, cracking, rubbing, my muscles were so sore, my gait (the way I walk) was now more like a shuffle. I kid you not. At this point and time I am talking out loud to myself asking me what just happened? Then I turned it over to God, and said Lord, what just happened? (not that I waited for a response)

I sat on the bench tripping. Looked at the sky, the clouds, then I turned at the van and stared. WAIT. WAIT WAIT ... when did this happen? When did the aging process begin? It seems like (ok well not like yesterday - but it seems not so long ago that I was in my laid out car identified easily only any street because of all the things I did, rims, amps, tinted out tint. Not to mention this sistah wasn't lookin' so bad...More flashes come to mind laughter, no responsibility, no bills, breaking curfew (sorry Ma in hindsight). Working and keeping all the money I earned. Different color hair, different styles, adventurous, exciting, even on the wild slightly daring side. They called me Jackie or Jack

But in that instant - just as if with a blink of an eye. Changes that I don't remember coming on. When did my body start to talk back to me with aches? Who grandfathered me into a mini van? and Why do my 3 boys think that I don't know anything about life outside of church - mannnnn pleazzzzzzzze! My children...WOW when did they grow up like this? I call myself seizing each moment. Now I am teaching one to drive. And they are all into personal appearance not vanity mind you.- No longer am I who I once knew, but I am Mom. "Hey Mom, what IS your name?" my 13 year old recently asked.I have no regrets, lets be clear on that. It's just that before that "blink of an eye" moment happened I was the one would say "seize the opportunity"; "time waits for no one"... yet I feel right now that I have been caught up in time. I am approaching 40, or is that age trying to catch up with me?

All I keep saying in my head is:WAIT.... WAIT... just wait a minute ...isn't there a hidden rule that this isn't suppose to kick in till much later in my life?

Better yet just tell me what just happened.

Had to get that off my chest. -

FAITH vs. CONTROL

Read: Luke 9:24

When you obsess over problems instead of looking to God for solutions, the enemy will magnify your fears. If he can’t get you to worry about the present he’ll remind you of everything that could go wrong in the future! Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “All I have seen, has taught me to trust God for all I haven’t seen.”

The last time you checked, wasn’t God still bigger than any terrorist attack, financial disaster, illness, accusation, or mess you found yourself in? Well, He hasn’t changed! David said, “He won’t go to sleep…The Lord is…at your right side…[He] will…keep you safe…wherever you go” (Ps 121:3-8 ); plus His angels are watching over us 24/7.

It all comes down to faith vs. control. You can struggle to handle things on your own – or trust your Heavenly Father. That’s the choice! It’s not about ‘blind faith,’ it’s about believing that God is who He says He is. And it’s an issue you need to settle in your mind once and for all, because if you don’t believe He wants only the best for you, you’ll keep trying to run the show. Control isn’t responsibility. Responsibility is doing your part by praying, obeying, and trusting God.

Control is manipulating the circumstances to engineer the outcome you want.
Jesus knows how we like holding on to things we’re not wise enough to control, so He said, “If you want to save your life, you will destroy it. But if you give [it] up…for me, you will save it” (Lk 9:24). Bottom line – you either trust God or you don’t!